The Rumour Song

RUMOUR SONG

 

i hear it time and time again

these rumours of myself

like that time i snapped your bike in half and shafted you with a shelf

so now its time to clear this up

then please go and fuck your self

 

i'm a rapist a stalker a flasher night walker

these are the things i've been told

but if i did have the time

i'd stalk you online

but you blocked me on facebook i'm told

 

remember that time i brought you round mine

after that day trip in brighton

i'm malicious i'm sick you choked on my…..

now your friends all think i'm a prick

 

i've been known to harass and object

form a cult and a sect

bash down your doors at strange hours

professing my love, you know begging and stuff

setting up cameras in showers

 

i know where you're working i'm suspicious and dirty

in the area well yes thats a crime

i walk past five thirty and again at eleven

i'm just on my way to the twenty four seven

now your workmates all think i'm a prick

 

it's a lie its a farce your heads up your arse

metaphorically speaking of course

though if that actually happened your nose just might flatten

and you sound just like this i'd be sure

 

(KAZOO SOLO)

 

so enough about me i'm sure you can see

the extent of my evil and actions

but as karma suggests you'd be the first to profess

for every action there is a reaction

so ladies and gents it's time to repent

for now i need your attention

 

he's into scat into piss

and he loves a good fist

lubed up right to the elbow

if that's not enough he loves it well rough

with kitchen utensils up HELLO

 

you're a thief and a witch

yes you're everyones bitch

with belief of telekenic powers

 

so when i do have the time

i'll put this online…

then the world will know your a prick.